Sunday, October 26, 2008

Still A Level 2

Two days ago, I received feedback on my annual performance assessment at work.

Apparently, I have excellent analytical, written, and research skills. I get things done and I get them done right. I am dependable, responsible, and personable. The client sings praises about me. In other words, I walk on water.

But, this only granted me a mere 3% raise. And I did not get promoted.

The reasons, my manager told me, are because while I have ideas, I don't readily share them. I don't speak up in meetings. "A Level 3 may not have all the answers, but they have the ability to identify gaps and get the team together to close the gaps," my manager added. Per my manager, at Level 2, I lack that and I am just a worker bee.

There were other things said, but I don't want to talk about it. During the meeting, I wanted to tell her just how incompetent the task lead and team lead really are. I wanted to tell them that the new Level 3 is a joke. I wanted to tell her that the project is more or less dead. But I didn't. Because 1) I didn't want to talk badly about others just because I was upset and 2) I was getting too emotional to speak coherently.

I am mad at myself for getting emotional. I hated that my eyes watered. I was such a girl.

Over dinner, I spilled it all to the hubs. He made me feel better.

Although I may be soft spoken, but that doesn't mean the company should not recognize me for my work. Not everyone is outspoken, but they should still find ways to promote those who contribute behind the scenes.

So here is my plan. I will continue to do good work for the client. I will perform just as I did last year. I will look into certifications. I will not, however, join firm activities after-hours. I will not do the things that they want me to work on so they could (possibility) promote me next year.

It's not my priority anymore.

3 comments:

  1. Aww, I'm so sorry the meeting didn't go as you'd hoped :(

    I understand all too well about not speaking up during meetings and am way too scared to ask if I'll ever get a review since I've been there over a year already.

    I get super emotional too, over the littlest things and I'm very harsh on myself. So I hope you're not beating yourself up over this. Just recognize where your weaknesses lie, work to improve them and at the same time give yourself a total pat on the back for being so great with the clients.

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  2. Worker bees rule! They get a lot done. You're right - level 3 is a joke. ;)

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  3. Booz can kiss my arse. All those "consulting" firms suck balls as far as I'm concerned. Ever since my time at KPMG, I see them all in the same light, just places to whore out their employees to make a buck. Booz is even worse cuz all they have going for them are contracts with the US government. And we all know how cutting edge and efficient our great federal brethren can be.

    I say quit and take a month long break in Taiwan with your cousins and recharge yourself. Who knows, once Sun blows up, I'll be flying over there to join ya!

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