Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Time to Destination

by Guest
Note: This is a mindless rambling whiney post. For the usual Sugarlens fare, please look elsewhere.

Anyone that has ever flown overseas should be very familiar with those three words. In the beginning, displayed right next to them is a counter that is simply too large for comfort. As you sit back to enjoy the takeoff and initial round of drinks (I'd include snacks here if I could, but since most airlines suck ass these days, all I ever get to chew on are the leftover ice chips in my plastic cup) the countdown begins. Then, if you're fortunate enough to be in a baby-free zone, you can doze off for a bit. As you awake, you realize your neck hurts, your hair is a mess, your clothes are all wrinkled and only 30 damn minutes have passed with another 10 hours or so to go.

For me, that phrase has meant many things throughout my life. From school to work to relationships. But right now, I feel as if I just wiped the crust from eyes and am staring at the damn counter. As the numbers come into focus, I realize that the journey isn't even half way over. It's too late to turn back, I'm in a plane thousands of feet in the air, so all I can do is close my eyes and wait for the end to come. Whether it's a with a boom and lots of screaming or with a safe landing, I just want it to end. That's exactly how I feel right now about my graduate studies. Some of the courses and professors are really engaging, but dealing with classes, homework, group work and real work work just sucks the life out of me.

I'm a whole year into the program now so I've put in too much time and money to simply walk away, but that's exactly what I want to do. I want to unbuckle my seatbelt, stand up, walk over to the emergency exit, pull the red bar, kick the door out and let the wild blue yonder suck my ass out. "So long bitches!" would come bellowing out of my mouth as the plane shrinks into a tiny speck. That may sound like a death wish, but at least I would be free again.

Free to do what? For one, freedom from being tied down to the DC metro area. Free to find a home and put down roots. And hell, even the freedom to start a family. Right now, these thoughts are just fleeting moments that grace my mind like some childhood memory. I can't really think about them for too long because my head and heart would say, "Not here, not now." I like my job somewhat and school isn't horrible, it's just that I'm here. Still here.

Luckily for me, I have a lovely wife who finds enjoyment in so many little things despite being married to a bitter man. Whether it's trying a new recipe or designing some new card or taking a summer afternoon nap, watching her always puts a smile on my face. And of course, there's Pargo. Now I'll admit, the three of us still manage to piss each other off at times, but what kind of family doesn't do that?

I guess this brief respite between the summer and fall semesters is making me think too much. Regardless, I'm gonna go stretch my legs for a bit and use the lavatory. Then I'll climb back into my seat and buckle up for the rest of the ride.

3 comments:

  1. I am waiting for a safe landing. Then we will be able to travel about without classes getting in the way.

    But still, you got me and gogo along on the ride with you. So not too bad. yup. =D

    Good post, it will all be over soon enough...Maybe I need to put a countdown ticker on Sugarlens.

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  2. No, no need for counter dear. Hell, I may not even finish the damn thing if I fail out somewhere along the way. But the fall tuition is all done so here we go again....

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  3. Stay on the flight, but if your legs are getting crampy, I'd take a semester off to stretch it off. In the long run, having that extra passport can get you to more destinations than you can hope for. Right now, just enjoy the ride...after all, your lovely wife and gogo are on the flight w/ you. Why would you even want to get off? You got on it for a reason, right? :)

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